Collective Memories – Online Short Group Constellations

Who we are in the present is knowingly and unknowingly influenced by the energetic field of influence that we belong to and that we come from. Our history lies coiled within us. The untold stories of our ancestors are present in our blood.

For me, constellation is a way to access the hidden stories and the silenced voices of the ancestors. It is easy to accept a version of events that is passed down from one generation to the next, from one person to the next, but with each telling the story can change and those missing parts of the story can be held unknowingly by us.  

The collective memory classes are powerful ways to break open the ‘single story’ that we may be holding of our ancestors and give voice to the voiceless within the untold stories. As their silence is broken you begin to release your own voice too.

Stories are powerful. Giving language to a silenced story gives a place to it.

In these online constellation gatherings we will be working with collective memories within a created constellation field to explore the entanglements within our family and ancestral dynamics. We will be stepping into collectively themed stories that are relevant for each one of us.

The classes will be on zoom and will be a combination of group and paired constellation. Your zoom link will be sent to you after booking your place.

There is more information about what to expect from online constellation events here.

Those who left are left behind…
Mon 30th May 7-8.30pm UK (1-2.30pm Central)

The pain of this entanglement and the wounds inflicted by it pass from generation to generation. Morphing, growing, and mutating with each iteration. It encompasses migration trauma, war trauma, and the fracturing of families. The fragility of safety, love, hopes, and dreams. The fragility of life itself. 

Those who left are also left behind as part of their heart stays with who and what they have left behind – who they love, the land, the life and dreams that they have lived and tended. And those left behind have also left, because part of them goes with those who have left, and part of them goes to the memory of ‘what was’ in this place that now are, before the rip happened. 

It is an immense pain, a ragged wound, that splits souls and hearts open. This is in each one of us and as we witness the unfolding of trauma in our present collective, we are plunged into the entanglements of our ancestors. And not only that, we feel their rip away from safety at moments in our own lives when we lose safety – when a loved one dies, a relationship ends, a dream is lost, we embody that fracture of those who left/are left behind and those left behind/have left. Sometimes we hold it internally within our souls. The rip between who we were before and who we are after trauma. The parts of ourselves that we leave behind with what we lost and attempt to numb out and the part of us that stays, trying to find a solid footing in a world that is not the same as the one we have lost. Gently working with this entanglement allows our souls, and theirs, to come home.

I’ll Finish What You Started 
Mon 13th June 7-8.30pm UK (1-2.30pm Central)

‘Oh no, I’ll wait, you go ahead.’

‘I would love to change career, but it feels disloyal, I have to stay here for longer.’

‘When I get through all this work, then I’ll be able to concentrate on myself.’

We can be tangled up with the unfulfilled obligations of our parents and ancestors without even knowing it. It is the realisation that you’ve spent years of your life working towards something that doesn’t make you happy. When joy and love are delayed, and the burden of duty weighs heavy. I don’t mean the need to work in order to pay your bills, this entanglement is something more than that. It is when your time is not your own. The weight of guilt of sitting that settles when you are ‘relaxing’ and there are ‘things to be done’. The struggle to choose yourself, your own dreams and passions. The invisible inheritance of guilt at being alive entwined with the need to finish off the unfinished work and unfulfilled dreams of those before you, before you will be able to be free to live your own life. This is a common entanglement. It grows with each generation and can spawn bitterness and frustration at sacrifices made that go unseen. It is also exhausting, there is an endless list of unfinished work from the previous generations. Breaking the agreement to carry the unfinished work and dreams forward instead of your own, is a release not just for you but also for the ancestors and the descendants. 

The Outcasts – Shadow Perpetrators
Mon 22nd August 7-8.30pm UK (1-2.30pm Central)

Every family and ancestral field has similar entangled wounds – it is just rearranged into different orders and patterns. Every family has the things that they speak of and the stories that they don’t. The silences are heavy, but not speaking of them doesn’t make them disappear. We simply grow around the absences and they are absorbed into the familiarity of our family and ancestral landscape. 

The perpetrators, the persecutors, the shamed and the shunned. They are all there. And any attempt to deny them out of existence merely deepens the entanglements as they pass generationally. 

What outcasts are you walking with? Who are you being seen through?

For the descendants there can be a displacement to the field of the victims connected to the perpetrator, to replace whatever has been lost. Or a displacement to the entangled root of perpetration.A debt, a cost, a price to pay for freedom. For joy. For happiness. Choosing to sit with the shadows – theirs and yours – begins to shift this painful piece. 

Missing twin – There should have been another
Mon 26th Sept 7-8.30pm UK (1-2.30pm Central)

I waited for you as long as I could.

 Part of me is still waiting, still looking for you.

A common entanglement within the sibling realm is that associated with a missing twin. Having a missing twin is common. One in three pregnancies begin as a twin pregnancy; this phenomenon is known as Vanishing Twin Syndrome, and the vanished twin spontaneously aborts early within the pregnancy. Depending on the untold stories in the family field the effect of a missing or vanished twin can be debilitating, particularly within personal relationships. 

When we lose our twin, part of us holds a place for them, waiting for them to come back and to feel that level of closeness again. We look for it in our intimate relationships and can often have a series of intense monogamous relationships that never feel quite right for us. That is because we are unconsciously looking for our twin and our partner can never be that person for us, no matter how hard either of us try.

The yearning for intimacy and love is incredibly strong. This is a powerful piece of work not just for individuals who resonate with the loss of their twin but also for those who have been pulled into intense intimate relationships with a partner who needs them to replace their twin. Holding the partner, you, responsible for replacing the love they have lost.

The Pattern Breakers – A lineage of courageous dreamers and eccentrics
Mon 24th Oct 7-8.30pm UK (1-2.30pm Central)

You are here because they were here. So often in constellation we are leaning into the unacknowledged pain, trauma, and grief of our ancestors. Breaking the silences and giving place to what was is important work to do, and it makes a difference. However, your ancestors are more than the pain and the suffering of what was lost. That vast field of influence is scattered with souls, just like you, who chose to live life their own way. Who courageously followed their own dreams, honoured their own beliefs and their souls yearning. Many would have been outcast for it. The outcasts in our families take many forms. You may have delved into the shadowy depths of some of the more painful stories. Why not spend a little time leaning in to the stories of the dreamers, the travellers, the adventurers, the lovers, the black sheep that were cast out for dancing to the beat of their own drum. Perhaps the desire to break the patterns didn’t start with you?

The Scarlet Letter Legacy
Mon 14th Nov 7-8.30pm UK (1-2.30pm Central)

There is shame and blame placed on ‘The other woman’. It is often easier to blame them than to look at the partner who has broken the promise or vow. The denouncement of women on this position who fall in love with someone else’s partner, who are unknowingly brought in by the betraying spouse, or who set out to win that partner over, is a legacy that weaves its way silently through the generations.

It has an impact on the descendants of such a legacy – impacting visibility and sense of worth in relationships, work, friendships. The legacy of secrecy and shame can weave through the present as an unwelcome inheritance from the past. It comes through from many sources within this legacy: the betrayed spouse, the secret lover, the errant spouse, the children, silent witnesses… 

We will be leaning into the stories around this entanglement to gently clear them and release the weight of what was.

When hopes and dreams are dangerous
Mon 12th Dec 7-8.30pm UK (1-2.30pm Central)

In our collective memories we can become tangled up with the ancestral field of the unseen, forgotten and voiceless souls. The weight of their lost and unlived years, the abandoned and lost dreams, and the hope that all would turn out differently can be a significant entanglement in our field of influence. This dynamic shows up in many collective memories. The inheritance of it means that we can unconsciously be carrying beliefs that “It isn’t safe to dream”, or that “Hope is dangerous”. That has a significant impact on how we live our life, what feels safe to reach for in our dreams, as well as a fear that what we manage to achieve will be snatched away from us. Tending that place for hope and dreams is so important and honouring what has been lost for the previous generations is an offering. 

Land Underneath your feet
Mon 16th Jan 7-8.30pm UK (1-2.30pm Central)

The culture and heritage of our ancestral land is ingrained in the unconsciously inherited memories of each of us as individuals. Each of us unknowingly carries the beliefs of those who have gone before us. 

Memories are also held within the land itself as well as within our blood, and they are passed silently from one generation to the next. The memories can become stirred at points of transitions, choices and change that are in resonance with our ancestors and their experience, or those souls who have lived on the land before us. 

The aspects which consistently appear within constellations involving land and belonging of any kind are around displacement, the excluded, perpetration, the forbidden, and silence. These are highly emotive and heavy hitting aspects that are found scattered at various points in each of our family’s histories. 

Migration of some kind within a family historical narrative, whether through choice or otherwise, is not uncommon. If there is an unresolved trauma around the choice to move, the entanglement will be rooted to that time and with those ancestors, and their historical narrative will flow down the line to the present generation. It also flows from the collective belonging of a particular land or country to the people that knowingly or unknowingly belong to that land or country. This belonging can be in the present or the past. This class will focus on the land underneath your feet and your relationship to those souls who have walked upon and loved that land before you.

Forbidden and Shamed Love
Mon 20th Feb 7-8.30pm UK (1-2.30pm Central)

The collision of secrets, persecution, and shaming.

This is not my life.
I need a way out.
How can I die in someone else’s skin. 

The weight of the ancestors who weren’t free to love who they wanted to love. Who were persecuted, shamed and imprisoned. Whether that was because they fell in love with someone that was forbidden for them in some way in the era they were living in – already married, different religion, different class. Or if they loved someone of the same sex and it was not only forbidden in their family system but against the law in the culture they lived in.

The legacy of this for the descendants in the present is a painful one. It can infuse our emotional and intimate lives with shame, guilt, and fear. The effect of this in everyday life can be that you are not fully available, because part of you is tangled up with the shroud of ‘unseen’ that was placed upon them, not all of them, or you, is free to love and be loved because of it.

Any relationships that follow will inevitably be with people who are also not completely available. It is a sacred offering to break this invisible and silent legacy of shame placed upon the ancestors. It is an offering to their soul and to your own. They are each worthy of love and you are worthy of love.
Love is not shameful.